Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
