he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
