why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Come on in and take your pants off
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