foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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