She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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