she woke up with a sticky ear
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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