people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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