Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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