At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
