Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
