Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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