Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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