in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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