But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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