o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You can't special order awesome
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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