I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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