he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
