are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
