Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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