this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
