is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
