nut hugger
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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