I accidentally had phone sex last night
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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