fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
