I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
