Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
