fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
