I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
