my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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