last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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