How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
