Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
