Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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