Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
