I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have surprise drugs for everyone
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
