Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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