I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i think my cat just said my name.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
