There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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