She said her name was "party"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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