How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
