I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
