i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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