I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
