just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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