Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
