The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
