All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
