there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am naked and annoyed.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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