when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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