We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize