p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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