she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
