So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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