That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
