Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
