Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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