i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize