we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
