That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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