She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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