While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
