Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize